GARDEN WARS

Mr. Bill’s Losing It Again

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 16:21:03 -0400

Mr. Bill’s delusions seem to be getting out of control again. We’ll just let the Respected Parental Units reply to this one. Although that “...andshark” bottle does look interesting.

Lillie seniors,
Even though The Supervisor and I are out of town, we still keep tabs on the dubious dynamic duo. Our surveillance frogs sent us this recent photo of the girl's stash of illicit beverages. We feel intervention is called for. Apparently this is what your daughters consider a "12 Step Program". We can only be grateful that they aren't on a "24 Step Program". The Betty Ford Clinic would be our choice for treatment as it is the farthest facility from E 42nd ST.
Please let us know if you need any references [or witnesses].
Regretfully, Mr. Bill and The Supervisor.

Mr Bill and Supervisor
We don't know where your frog surveillance team found the illicit beverages, but we have never seen that shelving at their house. Besides we see only one or two of their brand of beverage in the line up. Oh, by the way, we were wondering just what you are trying to grow in your garden. The pictures we have seen show large pails with stakes. What kind of a harvest will they yield?
The Lillie Seniors

Thanks, Mommy & Daddy! Mr. Bill also sent the following. We are worried about him. He probably has all those camera’s pointed at those poor “leprechauns” locked in his basement.

Here is a photo of SOME of the many security cameras surrounding our properties. The rest of them are hidden.................

Blended Bunny Family

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 20:48:02 -0400

Since Pierre’s friend, Don Vito Basilio, has joined him, we are really doubting Pierre’s claim to be Baby Bunny’s biological father. However, since Pierre and Don Vito Basilio have promised to take very good care of Baby Bunny — and dress her well — we wholeheartedly approve the adoption. In celebration of the new family (photo below), the Gnomes have agreed to let Pierre and Don Vito Basilio redecorate the Guy Garden while Mr. Bill and His Supervisor are off gallivanting...again.
(Now we know why Pierre wears that Italian hat!)

Freakin’ Frogs

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:15:19 -0400

Dear Mommy and Daddy,
These odd frogs have taken up residence in our gardens. Since Mr. Bill & His Supervisor mentioned transporting livestock, we are assuming they brought them back from Georgia. Is it legal to take these across state lines?
Love, Your Darling Girls
P.S. The title of this post was influenced by the presence of Cheech & Chong in “Billy’s” garden. Time to bust out those DEA t-shirts again.

More Slander... and Something Worrisome...

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 17:05:02 -0400

Dear Mommy & Daddy,
Since you made a tidy little profit during the neighborhood yard sale, we know you know exactly what the first two photos are.
However, as for the THIRD: That is just not right. We think we saw an episode of Law & Order: SVU about this very thing. Does Supervisor Connie know about this? Should we call the police? We are very worried. Not to mentioned frightened.
Love,
Your Scared Little Girls
P.S. V has never slept in the yard. She has always made it at least to the front porch.

Mom & Dad Lillie,
It appears that when you don't pay the rent.............out you go! You made a wise move evicting the deadbeat darlings. We hope the next tenants are a little more friendly and a lot less troublesome.
A surveillance shot of the young "V" trying to find her way home after a night on the town. She slept in the yard again on her brass bed.
Probably bad luck to reveal this, but I think I'd better respond to the lurid accusations about what is behind our basement window. The truth is I keep a set of lovely twin leprechauns down there. Much prettier than a pot of gold. Sure hope our address doesn't get out. I'll have to use metal bars instead of wood ones.

A Gnome of Her Own

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 06:55:34 -0400

Well, more than one, actually. What will Supervisor Connie say when she arrives home to find that Mr. Bill’s gnome infestation has spread to her container plants? Shhhh. Don’t tell her. Let her find it on her own. We hope there’s not trouble. Photo album below. (Click on a little photo to see the larger version. But you already knew that, right?) NOTE: If you have upgraded to Firefox 3 and can’t see the photos below, CLICK HERE.

O.K. We’re GLAD He’s Returning

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 20:07:53 -0400

When Erin and I went over to check Supervisor Connie’s Flowers this evening, this is what we found. (Don’t worry, Mr. Bill. We chased them all back to the Guy Garden, where they belong. Good thing there were two of us. Some of them tried to escape.)
Just what IS Mr. Bill keeping in his basement? And is it getting hungry? What brought all of Mr. Bill’s Little Friends all the way from his Guy Garden to his house?
We are frightened. I called V. at work and we agreed, Erin won’t be helping with Supervisor Connie’s Flowers until we know that whatever is growing in that basement has been fed and the area is safe.

Postcards from the Edge 4

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 19:36:28 -0400

What is more frightening: The fact that Mr Bill is returning to Ohio, or the fact that after wearing those ears, he’s beginning to sound like Yoda? (See paragraph below photo.)

Hello Lillie adults, [and you know who you are]
The Supervisor and I stumbled onto a trio of geese that claimed they were the three lovely luny lillie ladies. "P" on the left, "V" on the right, and the young "E" in the middle. They sang some merry tunes and then had a surprise visit from their folks.
As you can see Momma Lillie can hardly stand up. Rumor has it that there were adult beverages involved. I think Papa-san was trying to join in and sing with the young-uns, but they would have none of that! Spoiled rotten those children are!
Good news!! We get to see our garden Fri evening:-)
Bad news, We get to see our garden Fri evening:-(
We both hope that the gnomes are ALL out of town. Might be a couple of animals riding home with us. If they behave!!
Farewell from St. Mary's GA.

Raise 'Em Right

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 19:58:28 -0400

This Gnome Infestation is getting out of hand. They are now invading neighboring houses. Luckily, we had the World’s Cutest Baby, who speaks the language, to protect us.

He Talk Pretty Someday

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 18:31:11 -0400

Been out of touch for awhile, Mr. Bill and His Supervisor have. Believe this explains why, we do... Be worse, it could. Be wearing a Klingon forehead, he could. Yeesssssss.
(Yoda likes not being called a gnome. No, he does not. Hmmm.)

The Photo is now available for print orders.
The convention was very moving. Looking forward to next years.

Postcards from the Edge 3

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 18:09:44 -0400

Didn't V tell you she opened the gate to the GUY Garden and told the groundpig to help himself to the main course and not mess around with the little salad bar?
And we don’t know why Mr. Bill blames us for his gnome infestation. He’s the one spending his entire “Away Time” looking for gnomes....

Mom & Pop Lillie,
Our U.S. Navy has agreed to assist in the security for the "Senior Gnomes Convention". The tall gentleman by the life ring is "Sailor Son, Adam". He sends his regards to Chuck & Kay and also his sympathy due to the East Side Clan that has inhabited their old residence. He said it used to be such a friendly neighborhood. I told him that times, they are a changing. His height is used for "Surveillance". The two neighbor gnome procurers know this to be an advantage for the 'Good Gardeners", due to the fact that their groundhog infested gardens are below the ground level of the "Guy Garden".
A friendly, rather tall gnome, was located at the in-law's house. Guy sure could eat! He is thinking about coming up north with me. The Supervisor is not to hot on the idea though. She's afraid he might be a bad influence on the Ohio cousins. Like that could happen!
Buzz Lightyear has also been hired as security for the meeting at the senior gnome convention. Again this year, Mr Bill has been asked to be the keynote speaker. They love him down here!!! Photos to follow.
Best regards to you both, Mr. Bill & The Supervisor